The Other Side - Mourning the Change

It may sound silly to admit, but when my last kiddo crossed that stage, donned in his gleaming emerald green cap and gown, and received his diploma, I was hit with immense sadness.

Hear me out…….

All three of my guys are incredible human beings. And the amount of pride I hold for each of them makes my heart burst.

But in that moment, my mind drifted to days past.

We had worked so hard for so many years to make it to this point.

The finish line.

And now that it was here, I was sad.

My time, that would normally be spent purchasing my beloved new planner, researching curriculum, creating lesson plans and planning field trips, was now filled with other tasks.

I poured myself into growing my business, and running our home.

However, even in my busyness, my mind would (and still does) often drift to those sweet mornings, holding cups of coffee, praying over our day together, discussing literature, and simply spending the day with one another.

Those sweet, quiet days are held tightly inside me. Even those hard days are held close.

The tears, frustration, much needed breaks. And the joys that almost always came at the end.

It has been almost 2 years since our youngest graduated. And my shelves still hold on to workbooks, folders, projects and papers from our homeschooling days.

Our favorite works of literature still sit there as well.

Little by little, I have rid our home of our old curriculum, and thrown away old work.

But, oh my! It breaks my heart just a little more each time.

Each of those worksheets and projects hold memories. And throwing them out is a sharp reminder that our homeschooling season has ended.

My sweet little babies who would litter our dining room with bits of paper, glue, and whatever craft supplies they could get their little hands on, are now young adults, navigating this crazy world on their own. (With lots of help from mom and dad).

I love this new season that we’re in. And it’s amazing watching them make their way in this world.

However, I will always look back at those sweet homeschool days with a bit of longing.